Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

                  In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the
                 Word was God.  He was in the beginning with God; all things were made
                 through him, and without him was not anything made that was made.  In him
                was life, and the life was the light of men.  The light shines in the darkness,
                and the darkness has not overcome it.
                                                                                                   Prologue of St. John

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

     Every Christmas morning as I prepare to read the Gospel during Mass I recall the first time that I proclaimed it as a deacon to a large crowd gathered in the tiny chapel of St. Francis of Assisi outside the city of Tijuana in 1989.  The events of Midnight Mass were still fresh in my mind that morning:  a darkened chapel, the tiny Nativity scene, a little statue of Jesus being carried up in procession during the singing of the Gloria, the proclamation of the Gospel from St. Matthew, and the veneration of the Child Jesus after Mass. It was all very consoling.  However, the Gospel of Christmas Day, which is taken from the Prologue of St. John, presents us with a very different perspective than that of St. Matthew.  This year it is the last sentence of what is cited above that has touched my own heart:  “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”(Jn.1:5)

     I think the entire MC family has been reflecting on the nature of spiritual darkness since the recent publication of the book, Mother Teresa – Come Be My Light, by Fr. Brian, M.C., and the very capable team of MC sisters in the Mother Teresa Center.  It is a work that has also impacted the many thousands of people in the world who love our Foundress because it radically alters our perception of her interior life.  The spiritual darkness that Bl. Teresa of Calcutta experienced more or less consistently from the time she left Loreto and began serving the poor in the slums until her death in 1997 – almost 50 years – has touched the hearts of believers and non-believers alike.  This revelation, while discovered and publicized during the process of her beatification, is more fully developed and explained in the book.  It seems ironic that the Lord calls our Mother to share in His Light – a point that is highlighted from the title onwards in the book – and yet He will allow her to experience tremendous spiritual darkness.  She describes her interior life in a letter written to Fr. Neuner in 1961:  “Now Father—since 49 or 50 this terrible sense of loss—this untold darkness—this loneliness—this continual longing for God…” (CBML, p.210).  What an incredible mystery!!  Our Mother, Bl. Teresa of Calcutta, was the light of Christ for countless souls around the world until the end of her life, and yet she endured deep spiritual darkness for most of her life as an MC. 

     It is appropriate for us to reflect on the spiritual darkness in the life of Bl. Teresa during this time of year since the Birth of our Lord is deeply connected to this mystery of light and darkness.  It is interesting to note that the calendars that today hang on the walls of our refectories and offices (and should be changed in a few more days!) were organized by Pope Gregory XIII in 1582.  The Gregorian calendar reformed that which had been promulgated by Julius Caesar in 46 BC.  It places the winter solstice, the shortest day or the longest night of the year in the Northern Hemisphere, between December 21 and 22.  The Julian calendar was ordered in a slightly different manner such that the winter solstice fell on December 24 or 25.  Thus, the annual celebration of Christmas on the Julian calendar fell on the very day when the sun was farthest south – the shortest day and the longest night.  What a powerful convergence of nature and theology for the celebration of the coming of Jesus!!  Until the 16th century the deacon proclaiming the Gospel of Christmas did so on the shortest day of the year; a clear lesson for believers that Christ is the Light of the world. 

     The words from the Prologue of John immediately bring to our minds a very similar passage in the Book of Genesis. In fact, the first thing that God does in the creation of the world is to separate the light from the darkness:

     In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.  The earth was without form
     and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep; and the Spirit of God was
     moving over the face of the waters.  And God said, ‘Let there be light’; and there was
     light.  And God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the
     darkness.  God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night.
             Genesis 1:1-4

The division of light and darkness in Genesis refers to a cosmic reality that establishes order in the formless “face of the deep.”  However, the reference to this division in John points to a re-creation of the world in a different sense.  The Light of Christ brings order to the formless “face of the deep” that is found within my own heart!!  The celebration of Christmas, during some of the darkest days of the year in the Northern Hemisphere, is an invitation to renew our own lives.  At the conclusion of the Sacrament of Baptism the newly baptized or their Godparents receive a lighted candle and the priest says:  “Receive this burning light.  Safeguard thy baptism by a blameless life.  Keep the commandments of God…” (Pre-Vatican II formula).   This is a reminder for all of us that the tiny flame we received on the day of our Baptism will be fanned into a burning blaze by our quest to live in union with God.  This same Light will illumine all those with whom we come into contact.

     Still, it is distressing to read and to hear about how Bl. Teresa of Calcutta endured such a long period of spiritual darkness -  she was the light of Christ for so many, she faithfully carried this fire into the “dark holes” of the poorest of the poor, and she gave love for love.  Furthermore, we know that she lived a “blameless life” and kept “the commandments of God.”   How is it possible, therefore, that her spiritual life was filled with so many years of desolation?  Perhaps you yourselves have been asked this question by coworkers and friends who have read the book, Come Be My Light.  I recently told Fr. Brian that he should be prepared to answer this question for many years in the future because it is the one thing that people want to know!!  The reason why Bl. Teresa of Calcutta suffered interiorly for such a long time, I predict, will be the material for many studies, explanations, and books in future years from experts in the area of spiritual theology, mysticism, and psychology. We can look forward to a veritable ocean of interesting analyses during our lifetime.  It is important that all of us pray and reflect over the spiritual experiences of our Mother not only because we need to be able to answer the questions of others, but also because as members of the MC family we will share, to whatever degree the Lord allows, in this interior suffering on behalf of our people.

     We know that other saints have suffered deep interior darkness, other founders and foundresses have been called into a kind of night of reparation on behalf of the charism they have received, and there are even holy souls that have experienced a profound physical and spiritual identification with the poor and suffering.  Nevertheless, the experience of Bl. Teresa of Calcutta stands out as unique because of the way in which the Lord used her to lift up the poor and suffering before the conscience of the world.  Fr. Raniero Cantalamessa, OFM Cap, has written that Mother’s darkness was God’s way of protecting her from all the publicity and world acclaim by keeping her rooted in humility. 

     Brothers and Sisters in Christ, it seems strange to be speaking about the heights of the spiritual life and the dark night of the soul in relation to our beloved Foundress.  In choosing St. Thèrése of Lisieux as her patroness Mother sought to embrace a spirituality of littleness, humility and simplicity.  This is how she lived each day of her life, and this is how we are called to live as MCs as well.

       This spirit of humility and simplicity is certainly present in the first witnesses, apart from Our Lady and St. Joseph, who were invited to draw close to the Christ Child on that dark night so many years ago in Bethlehem.  They were the only ones awake when Jesus came to earth:  “In that region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.”(Lk.2:8)  The shepherds teach us how to watch for the Lord in the darkness of our own spiritual night.  In fact these simple, rough men in the first verses of Luke’s Gospel surpass the sleepy Apostles on Jesus’ final night on earth:  “Stay awake and pray that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is indeed willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Mt.26:41)  In the Garden of Gethsemane Jesus invites the Apostles to persevere in prayer through the night.  We need to cling to these words of Jesus and not fall “asleep” during our own long spiritual trial.  The spiritual practice of inner watchfulness and vigilance has long been a favored means of persevering through one’s inner darkness, especially among the desert fathers. As the shepherds kept watch an angel came to announce the Good News that the Savior had come.  They left the field and made their way in haste to the manger.
       Each one of us can expect to be purified as we draw closer to God.  Our spiritual journey is perceived through a kind of darkness because sin and imperfection have distorted the Light of Christ within us.  Today the Lord repeats to us the same words He spoke to His followers:  “Stay awake and pray.”  He will guide us into the light of new life if we remain vigilant and faithful to our vocation.  The shepherds share in the work of the angels after seeing Christ by announcing His coming to others: “and all who heard it wondered at what the shepherds told them.”(Lk.2:18)  This is precisely our call, sharing the Light of Christ, no matter how dark the night may seem!!!

      When we make an effort to overcome the spiritual desolation that is within us by serving others, great things will happen.  This point was revealed to me recently when one of our coworkers described her experience of accompanying some of our seminarians and one of our priests into the canal area of Tijuana during their apostolate.  Some of the members of our community go each week into the large drains built under the streets of our city for sewage and rain.  There is a sizeable community of homeless men and women living in these large concrete pipes.  Our coworker described how she and a few others walked about 50 meters into one of these drainage pipes in order to visit a small group of people.  At a certain point in their journey the batteries of their flashlight (torch) failed and they were stranded in darkness for a few minutes.  One of the homeless men soon came to their aid with a discarded plastic container that had become an improvised torch light.  He led them for the rest of their journey in that underground tunnel!  A beautiful story about a terrible place – what touched me most was the fact that one of our poor people had become the source of light in that dark hole; he helped the rest of the group finish their visit and find their way out.   The words of St. John come to mind:  “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

      During the second week of October the MC Fathers had the honor of hosting the annual meeting of the Mother Teresa Center in our Motherhouse here in Tijuana.  We welcomed Sr. Nirmala, Fr. Sebastian, Br. Geoff, Fr. Pascual, and Sr. Prema for several days of meetings, prayer, and fraternal sharing.  It was the first time that the superior generals and living co-founders of the different branches of our MC family had been together since the beatification of our Mother. We are grateful that our community and the people that we serve were able to experience these living links to our MC charism.  Thank you for coming all the way to Mexico!

     I am happy to mention that Fr. Joseph has recently published a book entitled, Mother Teresa:  In the Shadow of Our Lady.    Please keep his intentions in your prayers.

     May we all share in the joy and peace of the Christ Child during this beautiful season of Christmas.  Be assured of my thoughts and prayers.